It doesn’t matter how much things change, to me it’s the same old thing. The only thing that changes is the date. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into years, and years into decades. As a forty plus year old man, to me today is just another day.
You may say “what about the coronavirus? This must have certainly changed your life in some degree.” My response is that I contracted it, got over it, and now my life is like it was before I got it. You may say “well, what about Tropical Storm Isaias? As someone that lives on the east coast of the United States, certainly this has changed something for you.” My response, and the obvious answer, is that tropical storms and hurricanes come and go, but once they’re over life still remains the same.
I’m at a point in my life where I’m not impressed by much anymore. The amusement parks aren’t as exciting to me as they were when I was younger. Road trips to me have lost their appeal. Even something as great as sex is starting to become tiresome and routine. Maybe it is a sign of my testosterone lowering, who knows.
Despite all of this, I will continue to fight the good fight. I will continue to work, continue to write, and continue to pay my bills and my taxes. I don’t say these things because I am becoming suicidal — I say these things because I am getting tired of living the routine and going through the motions. I shouldn’t complain though, because as I tell other people repeatedly — it could always be worse. I could just cease to exist.
It takes guts to write down this feeling, especially without trying to ‘fix it’. Thank you for sharing.
What do you mean by “without trying to fix it?”
Maybe i misunderstand you, in that case, sorry.
What i read is that you describe your feelings and thoughts, and they are not happy (not impressed anymore, tired of the routine etc.)
Quite often people write these things only when they look back to them and have found some solution that changed their life around. They have fixed it at the end of the blogpost.
What I read here is that you are still in the middle of it and also do not know the way out yet (or maybe there isn’t and what you write in the end, continue to fight the good fight is all there is).
It takes guts to look at something unhappy, to talk about it and to end it there (for this blog post). To be in process. Of course I wish more and better for you than what you described.
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In that case, you are correct. I am dealing with it and pushing on. Thank you for responding, and I apologize for not understanding what you initially wrote.
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